Gonzo Girl

“I know we’d be best friends”, I thought as I finished the epic book,  The Storyteller: Tales of Life and Music by Dave Grohl.  I imagine that if we were introduced at some dive bar, we would hit it off instantly.  I mean, Dave and I, we have a lot in common.  He’s witty.  I’m sort of witty.  He has kids.  Whoa, so do I!  We def like the same music (his), and we both swear like sailors.  It’s a perfect fit.  

I feel the same way about the Dalai Lama.  That guy.  Having never really had a grandpa, I am sure that he would be the best fit for me.  Think about it.   We would sit together in long stretches of silence until I asked, “What is the meaning of life?” and he would slowly smile and say something like, “This.”  Yes.  We would definitely see eye to eye.

Or the late Betty White.  I imagine sitting in my living room with her.  She with her graying hair, me with mine.  We would smile at each other slyly and shoot funny one-liners at each other – egging the other on to more and more edgy humor.  Finally, she’d put her arm around me and say, “You’ve got this girl!” and I would be filled with the self-confidence that only an older role-model can instill.

David Cassidy would have instantly fallen in love with me if we had ever met.  I know it.  I mean, we had a huge connection through his fan club.  I knew every detail of his life (thank you Teen Beat Mag) and dreamed of what I would say to him the first time we met.  “I knew you would find me,” or “David, what took you so long?” Gone too soon.

Now Joan (Jett that is) and I would have a slightly different relationship.  First, I’m sure she’d want to kick my butt for playing down my inner child all these years, and then, she’d be that “tough love” sis who would say things like, “Fuck! Get off your lazy ass and write it down!  You gonna die in that office chair?”  Gotta love Joan.

One day, I’m certain I’ll run into Bill Bryson while traveling.  He and I will have a lot to talk about.  As the writer of A Short History of Nearly Everything, and my favorite, A Walk in the Woods, he will definitely add depth to virtually anything I have to say.  But best, we can swap travel stories and together, plan our next big adventure.

I think Carl Jung would have a heyday with my list of unrequited loves.  Each one representing little bits of me – or the projection of who I want to be.  So there it is.  Time to consciously channel my people.  Here we go 2022!  I’m totally ready for this ride.