Gonzo Girl

I had a dream about Facebook last night.

It reminded me of the first time I quit drinking. I’d have dreams of imbibing in all kinds of situations. Big parties, quiet evenings, wind downs after a big day. And then, the feelings of regret and guilt would wash over me. I’d wake in a semi-panic.   

This, because I deactivated my Facebook account recently. It was a much bigger decision than seemed warranted. I mean, it’s a social media platform, right? But it felt more like when I purged those clothes I once loved, but just didn’t quite fit me anymore. Maybe I could lose a little weight and fit back into that cute sweater? So, instead of just getting rid of it, I’d put the too small clothes into a box and place that box in the basement. If I didn’t seem to need it after a month or two, THEN, I’d take it down to the local thrift store.  

That’s the difference between deactivating and deleting.

I couldn’t quite bring myself to hit the delete button. So much history. So many parties, quiet evenings and wind downs after a big day. And while the addictive parallel is quite clear, it’s the other parts of entanglement that really have me thinking. 

For example, it took nearly 20 minutes to figure out HOW to deactivate my account. I’m not kidding. Even my googled,  “How to Deactivate Facebook” came up with an old version of the protocol which apparently, had been updated recently. Only Reddit could tell me that. It would have been easy to give up. I nearly did.  The process is complicated enough that I would not be able to tell you how I did it. Why is that?

Of course we all know. Money. 

In today’s digital marketplace, it’s about personal data and ad placement. Plus, even a regular person can get in on the game by simply “monitizing” their page.  

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m happy for folks to make some money.  “You be You” as the young people say. And with that spirit, I’m just not interested in being a part of it anymore.  

Really, it’s not the little businesses that pop up that are the problem for me.  No, it’s the methods employed by the big entities of which Facebook and others have become complicit. I don’t want to be fed “my algorhrym”. Yes, I know. My on-line behavior created this. Yet, I still don’t need to be force-fed 14 hours of crocheting videos or Mary Oliver quotes. From this seemingly innocent set of interests comes ads for Retirement Communities and Eliquis.

And as we all know, it’s not just Facebook. This feeding frenzy fills our entire digital landscape.  Each part entwined with the other in a complex maze that is almost impossible to find your way out of.  

But, I’m gonna try.  At least, I’m gonna attempt to make the maze a little less dense.  With eyes open, my hope is to at least look where I’m going, rather than fumbling around in the dark guided by a marketing strategy.

With our national agenda currently focused on material wealth and power above compassion and care for fellow humans and our earth, it’s a small thing that I can do. It’s easy to feel completely powerless regarding the big decisions being made by big people. These things are happening. No doubt about it.  But as a little person, I’m here to tell you that no matter what is happening around us, we still have power in how we handle the situation. From the 1946 book, Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl, a psychologist and holocaust survivor, reminds us that even in the most heinous situations, there is a chance to change the tide. 

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human

 freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to

 choose one’s own way. When we are no longer able to change a situation,

 we are challenged to change ourselves.” 

So for me, it starts with Facebook.  This I can do.